


Lifeline

by jhunieilarde



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, F/M, Post-Episode: s09e19-20 The Truth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:00:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29466162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhunieilarde/pseuds/jhunieilarde
Summary: Skinner can shoot Mulder himself just about now because of his irrational stubbornness. He knows he found something in Mount Weather. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have put up with months of being captive by the army. He would have fight to get out but no, he’s taking all the beating while keeping his lips shut. What changed?(a dark take on the consequence of Mulder refusing to take the stand to defend himself and what it cost Scully...)
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	1. Giving Up

Skinner can shoot Mulder himself just about now because of his irrational stubbornness. He knows he found something in Mount Weather. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have put up with months of being captive by the army. He would have fight to get out but no, he’s taking all the beating while keeping his lips shut. What changed? Back then, he couldn’t stop him from talking even though it’s putting himself and everyone around him in danger. He refused to take the stand and defend himself even though he knew that they will put him in death row.

“You can’t do this, Mulder”,

“I am doing it”, he said.

Skinner clenched his jaw.

“If you die, Scully dies”, he blurted out.

That seemed to have gotten Mulder’s attention. He frowned at his boss while trying to determine the meaning of his words.

“What do you mean? They’re not threatening her, are they? They’re supposed to come after me, not her”, Mulder asked.

He’s panicking…good.

“No, they’re not threatening her. She’s becoming a threat to herself, Mulder”, he went silent, “When you went underground, she had held on to William to keep on going, keep on living. When William was abducted by that cult, everyone was worried for Scully. Agent Doggett said she was willing to let the man who came in her apartment to kill William bleed out inside the nursery because he wouldn’t answer her question as to why he wanted to hurt her son. Agent Reyes told me how after Scully managed to wake up that man, she tried to strangle him on his hospital bed when he told her that her son needed to die”,

“What is the point of this, Walter?” Mulder asked.

“Can’t you see what’s happening to her? Is that the Dana Scully you remember? She’s changing. After she had given up William for adoption, she had stopped coming to the academy for three weeks, Mulder. She had shut everyone out of her life. When she returned, she’s as cold as ice. I recently saw fire back in her eyes when we found out about you. It brought life into her and suddenly, she got reason to live again and now, you’re here rubbing to all of our faces that you would rather die than defend yourself. Do you have any idea what’s that doing to her? Have you seen her come back here after you told her that?” he asked him back.

Mulder has been gone for quite some time and despite his faith in Scully, she’s not immune to a breakdown. Skinner had feared that after William, she would finally break but Mulder had saved her from that kind of darkness only to let her freefall towards that direction when they found him. He cannot let that happen. He took it upon himself to convince Mulder to fight for her, if not for his own life, for hers. The woman had given up so much for him, threw away her own life to follow his pursuits. Mulder cannot abandon her now to protect whatever it is he found in that mountain. No matter how big it is for him, for Skinner, it’s not worth losing Scully over.

“She’s strong…she would understand…”

“Goddamn it, Mulder! Haven’t she been through enough?!” Skinner snapped.

For years, he watched the two ran around, chasing monsters, chasing the truth, risking their lives. Though both of them lost so much throughout the years, Mulder did it for his quest. Scully did it for Mulder. Isn’t it enough?

“All she wants is you. She never asked for anything else. I was there when you were abducted. I watched her muster everything she had to keep moving in order to find you while dealing with the life growing inside her. I was there when she wanted to follow you in your grave when we buried you but she kept it together for her baby. Now, she’s trying to be strong because she believes that you will be free from here and you’ll come back to her. How can you stand there and refuse to give that to her?” he added.

Mulder was shocked by the tears that had escaped the old man’s eyes. It’s rare for Skinner to cry but when he does, it means that it’s too much to bear. He’s aware that he’s been there for Scully during the months he was being dissected. God knows how awful Scully went through those times. He felt like dying when she was gone for three months and he was gone for eight. She even buried him. He can understand what Skinner was trying to make him understand but what about the truth he found? Is it worth spilling inside the courtroom without sending the world into chaos? He never liked the conspirators’ ways of handling that information but he somehow understood why they worked so hard to keep the truth from public knowledge.

“I’m not sure the world is ready for the truth, Skinner”, he muttered.

Skinner scoffed.

“Are you ready to lose Scully forever?” he asked.

\-----------------------------------

She stopped bothering coming to visit Mulder after he told her that he’s giving up, that he’s not even going to put up a fight. What’s the point? She will lose him too anyway, right?

“Dana? Your mother’s here”, Monica said gently.

Scully stared intensely at her window. What now? Is her mother back to yell at her again? To tell her how horrible of a mother she was? That she’s a monster for throwing her son away? There’s no need to tell her that. She already knows.

“Dana…I heard, well, they told me about Fox”, she heard her mother said.

Of course, they called her. They always do.

“I’m fine”, she responded robotically.

“Honey…I know this is a difficult time for you right now but you can’t stop taking care of yourself. They told me you stopped eating and you don’t want to leave the apartment—”

She glared at her own mother without her control.

“I thought you’re angry with me, Mom. I seemed to remember how you rubbed to my face that I did not deserve my son, that I am selfish for giving him up, that I was only trying to rid of baggage from my life so I can continue doing my job. Why do you suddenly care?” she asked.

Maggie looked at her with shocked eyes. Her daughter never talked to her like that before but she knew it’s coming. She had said things in the heat of the moment when she found out she can never see her grandson again. She did not understand her daughter’s decision and she was angry. When Monica called her telling her how bad her daughter’s situation is, it dissolved that anger and she realized how wrong she was for judging her so quickly without letting her explain.

“I’m sorry, Dana. I know I said hurtful things and I wished I could take it back but I can’t. I was out of line and I did not give you a chance to explain why you did it”, she apologized.

Scully knows how hard it is for her mother to say that but she’s too far gone to feel anything else. She had lost everything the moment Mulder told her he would rather die than take the stand. He’s the last strand of hope she’s clinging to and after losing William, there’s just nothing left for her.

“I’m tired. I’m going to my room”, she muttered coldly and left them all without another word.

\-----------------------------------

It must have been days but Scully had stayed in her room. Monica and Doggett knocked several times but each time, she sent them away. Her mother tried to but she stopped responding to her. She just wants to be left alone. She found the strength to bring herself inside the bathroom and she failed to recognize the woman staring in front of her in the mirror. How far the mighty have fallen, huh? Who would have thought that Dana Scully will become like this after nine years in the bureau?

Suddenly, the back of her neck itches. She absentmindedly scratches it all the while contemplating what it had done to her life. She lost three months of her time. She lost her ability to conceive…until William. She had cancer and ever since, her life depends on that little implant on her neck, a reminder how she was violated and experimented on without her consent.

For the first time, rage filled her up. It’s the first emotion she was able to feel after Mulder shattered her hope. She’s just so angry to that little metal at the back of her neck. How many years that thing controlled her life? It’s time to decide who gets to be in control in her own fate.

Scully grabbed the blade from her medicine cabinet and expertly cut the base of her neck and removed the chip from her body. She glared at it before putting it in a small vial. She felt relieved. She’s free. The aliens got no control of her any longer. They don’t have a part of them inside her body anymore. She almost felt like normal again. She went back to bed with a smile on her face. At least, if she dies, she’ll die like a normal human being. She’ll get to see Ahab and Melissa again…maybe see Mulder too. It was her last thought before she allowed herself to close her eyes.

\-----------------------------------

The hearing took five days to finish. Mulder had taken the stand and spilled everything he found in Mount Weather. At this point, he does not care whether he sound pathetic and delusional to the panel. He needs to be able to face Scully and tell her that he tried. He fought just like what she wanted. It took another three days after that for the jury to order his release. No one told him what came out of his testimony but Skinner insisted that he goes back to Scully and stopped dwelling in the conspiracy.

When he arrived at her apartment, he found Monica, Doggett, and Maggie in the living room, all stressed out.

“Mulder? Thank god!” Monica exclaimed.

Doggett shared the same smile as well as Maggie.

“Where is Scully?” he asked.

He can change clothes later. He needs to see her.

“Dana has not left her room in days now. We knocked at the door every now and then to check on her but she does not want to see us or eat anything. We’re worried”, her mother answered.

It’s just like what Skinner had said. Scully lost the drive to fight. She’s probably thinking that he’s in death row right now, awaiting execution.

“I’ll go talk to her”, he went to her bedroom door and knocked, “Scully? It’s me, Mulder. Open up”, he called.

There’s no response.

“Scully, come on. It’s not a recording of my voice. I’m here and I want to see you”, still nothing and it’s too quiet for his taste so he turned to a very worried Monica, “When was the last time you knocked?” he asked her.

“…this morning. She yelled at me to go away”, she answered.

Mulder stepped back before he kicked the door down. The sound startled Maggie and Doggett but as soon as they saw what Mulder saw, it pushed them into action. Doggett is already on the phone calling 911 while Maggie is frantically praying to all the saints she knows. Meanwhile, Mulder ran to Scully who’s now unconscious on the bed. Her skin is so pale it’s like her blood got drained out of her.

“Scully? Hey, wake up…it’s me”, he whispered but she’s getting cold.

His eyes landed on a small vial on top of her nightstand and his heart almost stopped. It’s the implant. He quickly lifted her head and checked the back of her neck. The cut is visible, covered in dried blood. She did not even bother stitching it up.

“What is it?” Monica asked.

“Shit…she removed the implant”, Mulder scooped her up from the bed and carried her out of the room, “Monica, get that vial”, he instructed and she obliged.

“I already called 911”, Doggett informed him when he came out with Scully in his arms.

“She’s not going to make it if we wait…” he glanced over to Maggie, “She removed the chip”, he informed her.

The woman gasped.

“Oh my god…”

Doggett knew about the implant but he has no idea as to the severity if it was to be taken out of her body.

“Let’s take my car”, he declared and grabbed his keys.


	2. Bahamas

Skinner rushed in as soon as Monica informed him of what happened to Scully. He still couldn’t believe what she did. She removed the implant that’s keeping her alive. Well, he did understand on some level. Scully thought Mulder was going to die. She had lost everything in her mind so there’s no point in keeping that piece of metal that ruined her life inside her body anymore. Except, Mulder is not dead. He fought just like what she wanted. She just never knew about it because things happened too fast in the base during Mulder’s trial. He represented Mulder despite not being an actual lawyer and they both did not have time to inform the others of what’s going on.

“How is she?” is his first question when he arrives.

Scully’s mother is silently praying by the corner, armed with rosary in her hand while Monica is trying her best to console her. Mulder is ready to bang his head on the wall so that leaves Doggett to answer his question.

“They’re still checking her out. Mulder had forced the doctor to put the implant back in her neck…sir, if I may ask…is that implant for real? I mean, I’ve read Agent Scully’s file, but I never thought of it to be this extreme”, the man answered then asked.

At first, Skinner had a hard time accepting that too but when Scully was on her death bed waiting for her time to come, Mulder came in with that implant and asked Scully to take a chance. She jumped on his train simply because all medical solutions failed her. It’s not much to hope for but her cancer went into remission fast that even her doctors couldn’t believe it. It made Skinner believed and so far, that chip had kept her alive since without counting the one time it almost got her killed when the implant controlled her and brought her to that bridge.

“It’s for real, Agent Doggett. I was there when she’s dying of cancer. All treatments had failed. Mulder had worked his ass to get that cure for her and her cancer went into remission after they put that thing in her neck. It was too much to believe but I’ve seen it happen and it allowed her to be with us for years”, he answered confidently.

“Then why did she remove it?” Doggett asked.

Skinner sighed.

“…though it saved her life, that implant is a reminder of what she endured in this line of work. She was gone for three months, Agent Doggett, without recollection of what happened during those times. She got cancer when she first removed that chip from her neck and then it saved her life when they put it back. That implant also almost got her killed. It has the power to influence her into doing something that she will not remember afterwards. It had made her travel to Ruskin Dam on her own…”

“Ruskin Dam? That’s the bridge where a lot of people were burned to death”, Doggett recalled.

“Yes, and she’s that close to being one of them. She sustained minor injuries that night and when asked, she couldn’t recall driving there. She does not even know the place herself. That implant is both a blessing and a curse. She had kept it to keep herself alive but since she gave up William and recently thought that she’ll lose Mulder too, her will to live has dwindled. I guess, she saw no reason to keep that implant in her body any longer”, Skinner explained.

For two years now, Doggett has always wondered how a scientist like Scully lasted in X Files when most of their cases were hard to understand and believe. At most, she’s as skeptic as he is but her own experience allowed her to expand her mind a little to accommodate the unexplainable because she, herself, is an example of that.

“Do you think she’ll get through this?” he found himself asking.

“I have to believe that the implant will work again. Those two shared the same lifeline. If Scully does not make it, I’m certain Mulder will follow her as soon as possible. We’ll lose them both”, Skinner answered.

Doggett feared the same. When Mulder made it clear he’s not taking the stand, Monica expressed her fear that they will lose Scully and she was right. Seeing Mulder now, he can see that the same goes for him. They cannot live without each other.

“She’ll make it. Dana is a fighter. If she knows there’s something left worth fighting for, she will fight with all her might for it”, he decided.

Their conversation came to stop when the doctor came out of the room. All of them round up in front of the good doctor.

“Her vitals are steady now. For some reason, that implant seems to be doing miracles on her body. Her organs were failing when you brought her here but now, everything seems to be working just fine”, he turned to Mulder, “I would like to know more about that implant, sir. That’s a miracle worker”, the doctor said.

Mulder exhaled in relief before smiling towards the bewildered doctor.

“Believe me, I would like to tell you more about it but I know next to nothing about what that chip really does except that it keeps her alive. For your own good, doc, keep it to yourself”, Skinner flashed his badge to support Mulder’s words and it made the doctor swallowed, “Can I see her?” the doctor nodded, “Thank you”, Mulder then entered the room.

\-----------------------------------

Scully lies unconscious on the hospital bed. It’s a sight that has always haunt Mulder in his dreams, not alien invasion, but Scully on that bed. How many times he had seen her like this? How many times her life was in danger? This time is different. Her life was not in danger or close to it. No one has done this to her. She did it to herself. She had removed the implant herself knowing what it will do to her unlike the first time she had taken the implant out.

Mulder is aware that it’s what Skinner had told him few days back when he’s convincing him to fight. He never thought that Scully would actually do it. She’s never the type to hurt herself like this. He had known her to be the one who keeps on fighting. She never gives up. Years of fighting and hurting had worn her out. Most people would have break during her first year as his partner but she’s made of steel. She exceeded expectations even when she’s an inch away from death. He never thought that his stupidity and stubbornness will be the one to finally break her.

He knelt by her side and held her hand as he silently begged her to fight some more…just a little bit. He remembered the night he did the same thing. It was when they put the implant back in her neck and for hours, nothing happened. Her cancer was still destroying her body, pushing her to her demise. He came in her room, knelt beside her and cried because there’s nothing left to do. By morning, he was greeted with a wonderful news. She was cured. The implant had worked.

Mulder is begging for the same. He’s wishing for the same wonderful news. He wants her back. He needs her back. It’s funny how he’s the one begging her to fight this time when she had done the same inside that cell. She begged him to fight and he refused. He now understands the pain she felt that day when he said no to her. God, he cannot even begin to imagine if Scully said no right now and refused to fight. No. He needs to believe that she will. He needs to keep his faith a little longer. They’re almost at the end of this excruciating journey and though the end is not as bright as they would hope for, it’s way better than living under the shadow of conspiracy and betrayal. He needs her to see that end, to have a chance to live, to get out of the car and experience life. Then, maybe one day…maybe one day, they’ll find their son and they’ll be a family again.

“Mulder?”

Her voice was weak and soft but it’s so powerful that it evaporates the anguish he was just feeling a few seconds ago. He looked up and saw her staring at him with a familiar question mark on her face.

“Hey, Scully”, he greeted with a smile on his face.

“I don’t understand. How are you here? Am I dead?” she asked.

It made his heart sunk. She did think he’s going to die.

“No, Scully. You’re not dead. You’re in a hospital. I went to trial and I took the stand. I got released today, actually. Haven’t had the time to shower yet”, he answered with a low chuckle.

He can see the struggle in her eyes like she wanted to believe what he said but does not want to get her hopes up.

“You told me you would rather die”, she muttered.

“I know and I’m sorry. I should not have said that. I was caught up in what I found in Mount Weather that instead of doing what we fought to do for years which is exposed the truth, I almost became like Smoking Man and concealed it from everyone. That was a mistake”, he apologized.

“Then, what changed your mind, Mulder?” she asked.

He smiled a little.

“Actually, Skinman knocked some sense into me. He came to my cell and started yelling at me like a mad man. I think it worked. He was scary when he’s incredibly pissed off”, he answered.

That made her laugh. It feels good to hear her laughing. When the laughter died, the serious air came back. She realized what she had done, what brought her to the hospital and embarrassment filled her up.

“Mulder…I really thought I was going to lose you”,

“So…you took your implant out”, he finished the sentence.

“It hurts a lot. When you were missing, I held on our son and that kept me going. When I gave him up, I held on to the thought of getting you back. Then, all of a sudden, I was losing you as well. I got nothing to hold on to. What’s the point of having that wretched thing inside me? I never liked it in the first place. It always reminds me how they turned me into a lab rat but I kept it because it allows me to have more time with you but without you, I see no point in bearing it any longer”, she explained.

Mulder sat on the bed with her without letting go of her hand.

“You’re not going to lose me because I don’t want to lose you either. Damn it, Scully…you just know how to put turnabout is fair play into action, huh? My knees gave in when I saw you pale as a sheet on your bed when I got into your apartment. The doctor said your organs were failing when I got you here. It took five hours for the implant to work on healing you again. That was hell, Scully. That was worse than being locked up in army base prison. I don’t want to go through that again. I don’t want you to hurt yourself again. If you can’t live without me, Scully, I got news for you. I can’t live without you either”, he responded.

He gently wiped the few tears that had escaped her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Mulder”, she apologized.

“…and I’m sorry too for pushing you away”, he replied.

She reached out to him and pulled his body down on hers so she can hug him. It feels surreal to have him without any fear that they will take him away again from her.

“Mom…I was rude to her and to Monica and John. They were trying to help me and I yelled at them”, she suddenly recalled as she let him go.

“They’re right outside praying for you to be okay. They know, Scully. They understood. They’re worried about you”, he said.

She sighed.

“Can you call them? I would like to apologize about my behavior”, she requested.

Mulder nodded and called the others outside. One by one, they entered her room with a beaming smile on their faces.

“Oh, Dana…you scared me!” her mother exclaimed before wrapping her up in her arms.

“I’m sorry, Mom. I was cruel to you when you’re only trying to help me”, Scully muttered.

“Stop it…it’s me who should apologize. I was cruel to you first when I should have been there for you during the hardest decision of your life”, Maggie said.

Monica stepped in and flashed her loving smile at her.

“I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you doing well again, Dana”, she expressed.

“I should apologize to you and John as well—”

“I will stop you right there. There’s no need. We can be really annoying sometimes”, Doggett cut her off and it made everyone laughing.

When Scully’s eyes landed on Skinner, her hand reached out to him and the man gladly took it.

“Thank you, Walter”, is all she said.

It puzzled the others but Skinner quickly understood what she meant. Mulder had told her and she’s thanking him now.

“Anything for the two of you even though you’re both pain in my ass”, he replied which made her laugh some more.

“So…now, that Mulder’s a free man, any plans?” Monica asked curiously.

That put them all in silence. What comes next?

“Vacation”, they all turned to Scully, “I think we all deserve a break. We need sun and the ocean and relaxation…tons of it”, she answered.

The boys hummed at the thought.

“Well, in that case, allow me to call one of your father’s friend. He owns a resort in Bahamas. We can go there for a nice vacation and it’s free”, her mother quickly disappeared with her phone, already calling the said friend.

“I guess that’s settled then…” Doggett turned to Skinner, “Boss, we would like to use our leave credits to go in the Bahamas”, he declared which sent them all laughing.

THE END


End file.
